New beginnings???

Well, life is interesting, even in all the hullabaloo of trying to discover things, you fall and stumble getting up in a whole different and totally different environment from your expectations. In short when you think that you have finally landed, you find that the landing ground was somewhat marshy and a swamp that could have drowned you, but learning to wad yourself, holding your breathe and struggling out of the somewhat paddy field of swampy water sometimes quick sandy, makes one emerge out stronger and with a clearer direction of what they seek to achieve and live. Missing in action, means action is happening....I finally finished my year one course work, am feeling achieved and refreshed with things happening extremely fast, not being planned, just happening. Exams out, project in! Phase two will be handled with a more relaxed and open mind. At least not much reading but applications which I have learnt so am not really worried. Anyway, that is that about my books...social life has been somewhat interesting..... I have always been one impatient person, okay, at least from what I have been told by a few people including my very own mother and especially son...who at times reminds me of myself when I was younger. Just the other day we were having a conversation before he started his exams on how he needs to go through his paper with care and slow pace! I remembered how I used to finish my exams such that by the time the teacher finished handing us examinations papers, I was already done...to their chagrin, all my answers always were right, okay perhaps 98% correct...if I took my time I would get 100% Okay, patience it a virtue am still praying to gain, slowly but surely I have been gaining it of late, only of late, lets say the past almost eight months or so...I have held it, and still putting it well within my grip. This time round, I do not want it to slip whatsoever, because, I have been taught, by one person, to be patient. Apart from my impatient nature, anger doubled it up!Impatient people are somewhat always angry people...I guess, from a personal experience...but well I am handling both very well nowadays. I guess when one grows and learns to trust at least those around them, the impatient nature sublimes and so does the anger. I am not conclusively stating that most impatient people are angry people, but one triggers the other, example, you meet me later than the agreed time, you will either find me gone or vexed up....BINGO...that is anger! Anyway, let me just say, with every human being, there comes a time in their lives,when the good Lord brings someone extra special who is able to just listen to them, understand them, hold them and hear them out while they least expect it! Especially those that you never have imagines or looked at! When they take time with them, they learn the patient and beauty of life, learn to control their anger and laugh a little bit more! They say you at times need to love and not be loved, be loved and not love back and love and be loved back to understand the true meaning of love and what it really feels and the lengths one can go to make things work ( not a one sided sacrifice), if true or just a passing cloud. I have thought about it for a while and I guess it time to give one a chance, love a try, one more time...hearts are to be broken or be forever taken care of...I guess this time it will be taken care of. I met my match and I think I have finally...hopefully, this will be the last match I have to meet!!!

Diary of a Single Mother: Drama is.....

Diary of a Single Mother: Drama is.....: Drama unfolds, but this one is more than drama. Not sure if it should have a different name from the drama. Lets just says, 2013 has flown.....

Drama is.....

Drama unfolds, but this one is more than drama. Not sure if it should have a different name from the drama. Lets just says, 2013 has flown....literary...its already September just the other day we were talking Christmas and arguing with my son on whether or not I should buy him clothes. Well don't give me that look, sometimes you cant just buy clothes because its Christmas, for him, every other day is Christmas, I buy him clothes so buying new ones last Christmas was a thing to discuss? Well maybe not.... But anyway, back to the drama or something of the sort,drama is when things happen unexpectedly, like the year 2013 reaching September without my knowledge? Is it that I have been too busy with my latest addiction till I forgot the dates? Okay I must admit, I have been home only 3 times this year, meaning I only got to see very little of my son. Okay and the few times he has come to my school. I must admit, cell phones have made life easier and I get to talk to him everyday or let me call it almost everyday. Drama is when your son calls you a month after you replaced his wardrobe to tell you that he needs new clothes since he has sort of added weight. Yes, I feel like I have gone back to that age when he was between 1-3 years when I could buy clothes and shoes every 3 months....this is what has become the conversation during the phone calls, shoes and clothes and description of which type of clothes and shoes are needed. Uhhm! He is about to enter his teenage, so am expected to know the fashion trends and be able to keep up so as not to buy clothes that he may never wear...now that is drama if you combine it with books.... Drama is trying to read,when you have a test tomorrow, and trying to be busy typing away, okay I have read and I needed a break so why not type it away? I love blogging or perhaps just typing stuff, it reduces my dramas a bit....trims them to an unacceptable level, a level I can manage....... Drama is trying to convince someone to juggle between watching TV ( 3 channels at the same time), typing and chatting...that is exactly what I am being subjected to at this particular moment. I am about to send a protest letter to the TV stations to avoid collusion of time with my favorite programs...how can I give up Churchill, a great comedy show for TPF6 another great form of entertainment the equivalent of American idol? Like really and Arsenal is playing? Plus I need to finish my test revision and still do one document review? Now that is a bigger drama....calculating....Prioritization? Key word...but what comes first in this case? A bit confusing!! Drama is just about to end this typing session because I have discovered, after a lot of soul searching, that it may not be so much my priority area right now...ooops! Cheers later...gotta run!

Diary of a Single Mother: Trying my level best...

Diary of a Single Mother: Trying my level best...: The few couple of times I have tried dating have been a disaster, either the guy has a problem with my kind of life style or I have a proble...

Trying my level best...

The few couple of times I have tried dating have been a disaster, either the guy has a problem with my kind of life style or I have a problem with his! And in most cases, I have had a lot of issues with their kind of lifestyle. Some things you can put up with but some, even if the heaven's came down is a NO-GO-ZONE. Being a single mum, is not easy, now when you want all my time,making it impossible for me to spend some time with my boy, then that is a problem right there. I am not saying its wrong to crave attention, no, its just wrong to try and get all the attention to yourself. Get it in your head, I have a son, time has to be divided, and when it comes to my son, he sort of becomes my priority. Call me a stubborn, big headed woman, I will accept the titles for now, but again I emphasize, there is no discussing time when it comes to my son, he will always come first. Anyway, that aside, back to the dating scene, I tried, and the last has just hit rock bottom and am beginning to think, perhaps am not just cut out for a relationship...no am not. I mean, who would want to have a woman who is never at home, cooks when they feel like, goes for what she believes in and last but not least speaks her mind. I have tried I tell you, even trying to ACT like the normal traditional African woman but, it just doesnt seem to be working noooo...its not! What to do? What to do?

1. Spend time with my son ( like I have always)

2.Live my life ( oh I ALWAYS will do!)

3. Go on dates ( like the Bachelorate- trust me I have no intentions of turning down any dates from now hence forth, I will go on all- of course if my schedule allows-lol- THIS IS NEW!!!)

4.Try out a new style of dressing- read decent not SLUTTY ( THIS IS NEW!!! As I always have that simple look, I am gonna add a little bit of oomph!to it!)

5. Scrutinize every tiny little details presented to me by any male individual ( I had stopped, now it will be back) Okay, easier written than done, let me be realistic. Why would I even go to extreme lengths to do all the above? Okay at least spending time with my son is great, that I will always put on top of my list.

But honestly, would I change my lifestyle just because? That is where most of us go wrong! Just today I was chatting with a friend of mine and I was honest enough to point out that I was dumped, and the reason I was dumped is because my now ex was seeing someone else? She was in shock! Trying to state that its just wrong for a guy to state that he is seeing someone else. But really, this is like what I have always thought it to be. I would term it as honesty, this is way better than finding out one day that he is seeing someone else and pretending to be dating me at the same time...that would kill me. But being told so, makes you feel free, light and ready to move on ( well I deleted his number and any contact that I could find so I can clearly move on) But still it makes one really know that the other party is no longer interested! Period! Its never easy to let go of what you knew so well, what you had put your efforts in but one thing is for sure, it was not for nothing, as a matter of fact it makes you a better person and above all, my policy statement, if he dumps you, its his loss not yours as you are worth much more!

As I am still thinking of how am not cut out for a relationship...other thoughts also pour in, perhaps am just too good and should stop being Miss Too Good and be a bad girl for once...( grinning) No I would have to change my whole outlook if I took up that role...so I just going to be me.....moving on to greater heights where I know it will only get tougher but I am already tough....as I am trying my level best :-)

Diary of a Single Mother: Some questions I may not answer…as yet??

Diary of a Single Mother: Some questions I may not answer…as yet??: Schools close and I am excited just like any other parent to have my son at home, knowing the kind of schedule I have normally, this is a ti...

Diary of a Single Mother: Another one of those days....

Diary of a Single Mother: Another one of those days....: My son does not stay with me, typically because I travel a lot and it may not be very ideal to leave him in the house alone or in the care o...